My Patient

Oh man, so much has happened and each day I think, "I have so much I want to remember!" but each day I end up spending that time with my kids and with my hubby and then I never get around to writing about it. It's a problem I need to figure out. Amelia is growing up way too fast! It's making me so sad because she is going to be one year old in two short months and I haven't soaked up enough of her babyhood yet. She is loving rolling balls around, playing with blocks and playing with her family. She lights up at the the sight of dad or Ellie or Noah. She loves to crawl as fast as she can and she loves to through both hands up in the air and pounce on something that she wants. She seems to always be in good spirits.

Ellie is killing me with growing up too. Each day she tries to do her best to help out around the house. Even though she doesn't always want to do her chores, she wants to help do my chores which is so nice of her. She did a great job selling her girl scout cookies the first time ever this year! She memorized her little speech to say to people and she did an amazing job remembering it all at each house. She has sold 115 boxes of cookies all by herself. And everyone seems to love her. Ellie is a piece of me in so many ways which makes me both happy and worried! I can't wait to watch her continue to grow into the kind young lady she is.

Noah has been doing soccer these past couple weeks. He loves having something of his own to do and I love that he enjoys it. Hubby enjoys taking him to his practices and games: I think it's one of those things a dad always looks forward to. Taking his son to sport practices and games. And Noah and daddy loves to go practice kicking the ball around at home as well. Noah began seeing a therapist to see if he can learn how to better cope with the changes we've had in our family over the past two years. I'm excited for him to feel more at peace inside and to be happier and better able to handle change. Because there is even a lot more change to come!

Hubby has been working hard on his college classes. He's currently taking two and it keeps him so busy on the weekends. He needs a break from life and just some time to relax but I'm not sure how or when he'll get that. But for the moment he's doing an amazing job being Super Dad! He gets the kids up for school each morning and gets all three kids dressed, fed and off to school and daycare. I'm usually at work still (I get home around 7:45) but even on the days I don't work Hubby doesn't even wake me up, he lets me sleep while he gets the two older kids up and off to school. Crazy man! Several evenings a week, he gets home from work and we eat dinner and I rush off to work, once again leaving him with three kids to clean up with and do bedtime routines. Not to mention, that he has to wake up twice and sometimes even three times a night with Amelia Bedelia to feed her. He's so good and I am lucky to be his wife. Speaking of being his wife: we celebrated our 8 year anniversary this Tuesday! I was at work, so we didn't do any celebrating other than phone calls of "I love being married to you"! But both of us agree that we are happier than we ever imagined. It's so amazing how life works out.

I had an emotional week. Well I'll back up a bit. So I have worked eight shifts on the unit so far. Two shifts on "days" and the rest on "nights". Last week I was getting into the swing of things, but only really caring completely for one patient, while helping with others. This week was the same. But this week changed my life. Well it changed my nursing life! I had a patient that coded and it shook me to the core. He lived and after that I kept wanting to throw myself on top of him and hug him with all my might and say "I'm so happy your alive"! But of course I didn't. It' something that I will remember for my entire life and it has change the way I think about things in so many ways. I wish I could tell all about the circumstances, but thanks to HIPPA, I can't. But I spent the next day after that, in a semi-daze, thinking about every little detail that surrounded that patient. It just made me realize that I love my patients so much and I don't care how old they are or where they came from or what they did or didn't do that brought them to me and I want them to get the absolute very best from me always. I didn't do anything wrong, although I spent many many hours going through all the "what-ifs". But I also didn't quite realize how much each person means to me while I have the opportunity to care for them, until that moment when he coded. I was devastated in a way I never knew I would be.

Other than that emotional day, I am loving every second I have at work. I love my co-workers. I love the doctors. I love my patients. I just love the opportunity to help people. (I know I may seem so cliche or sappy, but it's true: I love what I do and everything about it.)  I am sad being away from my kids because I know that I missing some moments, but I am thankful for life I have. I love being a mom, a wife and a nurse. I think that working nights is perfect for me because I still get to have dinner with my family every single night. And I only miss three days a week away from my loves. And it's not even all day. Only until 3 or so. I think it's a good balance.

I'm going to try to write more during the days forward, but it may be more one-liners and not entire stories, because I may just write from my phone. And I will most likely post pictures without explanations as well, like I did the other day. But I simply don't want the time to sit down at the computer all the time and write. I enjoy my time I do have at home and want to spent it with my kids and hubby. The only reason I have time tonight is because Hubby is at a sleep study tonight! :)